About
About Therapy
Married to an Alien?
It’s natural to be attracted to someone whose strengths and qualities differ from your own. On some level, you recognize that these are undeveloped aspects of yourself — and you’re drawn to become more whole.
Relationships where opposites attract can be thrilling and full of growth potential. Yet those same differences can drive you crazy in daily life. It’s a dilemma — but not an unsolvable one.
With the right guidance, you can learn to embrace and bridge your differences so they bring you closer, rather than pulling you apart. I provide powerful, safe methods to help you work through conflicts quickly and effectively. Each time you do, you’ll build deeper trust and confidence that the two of you can handle whatever arises in the future
It doesn’t have to be that hard.
Would you rather have a root canal than face the idea of couples therapy? You’re not alone!
Many people imagine therapy as a painful, drawn-out process where they’re confronted with everything they’re doing wrong — only to leave feeling worse than when they arrived. No wonder so many couples hesitate to seek help, and resign themselves to accept the status quo.
But the truth is, it doesn’t have to be that way. With the right tools, couples often find rapid relief from long-standing frustrations and can finally resolve the issues that once felt impossible.
Rather than vague conversations or endless sessions, my approach is structured, clear, and results-oriented. You’ll leave each meeting with specific insights and practical tools you can use immediately. Often, just a few simple shifts can quickly transform a resigned or distressed relationship into one renewed with warmth, passion, and generosity.
Learn whole-face listening.
When you come into my office, you won’t sit side by side on a couch talking about each other while I listen. Instead, you’ll sit facing one another — close enough to really see and connect.
I’ll guide you through a powerful process of taking turns as Speaker and Listener.
- The Listener’s role is to listen in a way that helps your partner feel deeply heard and understood.
- The Speaker’s role is to express themselves following a simple, structured format that invites empathy and curiosity.
This process creates profound, meaningful dialogue about what truly matters. Together, we’ll uncover practical solutions so you can leave with clarity, connection, and new practices to strengthen your relationship at home.
What’s possible…
Most marriages struggle — and many fail. Fewer people are getting married than ever before, and those who do often wait longer to take the leap.
Yet at the same time, a “relational elite” is emerging — couples who report greater fulfillment, intimacy, and satisfaction than at any other time in the history of marriage.*
What makes the difference?
A growth mindset.
Couples who experience enduring, meaningful, and passionate love continue to invest in their relationship over time. They keep learning, practicing, and growing — both as individuals and together — rather than settling for “good enough.”
Lasting love isn’t luck. It’s a skill set you can learn.
Couples who enjoy enduring, meaningful and passionate love invest in their relationship over time. They keep learning and growing, as individuals and as a couple, rather than settling for things being good enough.
*The All or Nothing Marriage by Eli Finkel
Ready to learn What’s possible for You?
Online or in person in Boulder and Longmont.
Free 30-Minute Consultation — discover how this approach can help you create lasting change.
About Me
I’m passionate about helping couples and families not just get along, but truly enjoy life together — starting with my own.
My husband, Michael, and I have been on a 30+-year journey of learning how to bridge our differences and create enduring love. This is a second marriage for both of us, and we each knew the heartache of divorce.
I was extremely cautious about embarking on the path of committed love again, yet we were intensely drawn to each other.
when we finally took the plunge to combine our lives, it soon appeared we had made a terrible mistake. We seemed hopelessly incompatible in daily life: cleaning the kitchen, entertaining friends, having pets, making decisions, raising children — you name it, we clashed over it.
We honestly didn’t see how we would make it — until we discovered one of the first and most comprehensive programs in Emotional Literacy for couples, called PAIRS (Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills).
Instead of feeling threatened by our differences, they became a portal to more authentic intimacy than I knew was possible. It gave me a road map to not only prevent breakdowns, but to repair and reconnect after they happen.
Today, we are Master Teachers for PAIRS, and have trained scores or mental health professionals and chaplains in its methods. Over the past 30+ years, we’ve taught more than 1,500 couples the tools of skill-based love through private sessions, workshops, and weekend retreats.
Walking the Path Ourselves
Like most couples, we’ve faced profound challenges — many of the same ones that tear relationships apart:
blending families, step-parenting, financial losses, career transitions, moves, home-building, extended family dynamics, serious illnesses, and the loss of loved ones.
Even learning how to teach and work together brought its own learning curve!
We never would have survived these ordeals without the tools and skills we now share with others.
And I’m so glad we did! Now, 31 years later, our three adult children, their spouses, and our seven grandchildren are the great delights of our lives.
Our children often say, “If you two can be happy together, there’s hope for anyone.”
And I believe they’re right. After decades of witnessing countless couples heal, grow, and reconnect, I know that as long as both partners still want things to get better — there is a way back to love.
My Commitment to you
What qualifies me most to guide couples through transformation isn’t just my professional training — it’s lived experience.
I’ve weathered many storms myself, and guided couples through their own for decades. I’ve seen firsthand that, with the right tools and support, healing and growth are always possible.
If you’re ready to restore and deepen the connection that first brought you together, I would be honored to help you find the way.
Our Relationship Journey: Audio from an interview with the podcast Elephant Talk about the evolution of our relationship, including the unusual ways that we dealt with some serious crises.
Amazed and grateful that such practical tools could restore harmony and joy, Michael and I devoted ourselves to studying, developing, and teaching these skills to others.
Our Relationship Journey
“Episode 8 I’m done with this marriage, but I’m not done with you.” from Elephant Talk by Elephant Talk. Released: 2017. Genre: Podcast.
I am grateful to live in Colorado and enjoy all the outdoor activities we have access to – hiking, biking, skiing, white-water rafting, swimming and gardening. I enjoy simple road trips to explore small towns and remote areas in Colorado and the Southwest. I am passionate about nutrition and wellness – and love sharing meals with loved ones in our garden.